I remember looking in the mirror aged 9, when I was alone at boarding school without a parent to discuss it with, and saying to myself "You were meant to be a boy." I know my parents had joked that my elder sister was expected to be Jeremy, then she arrived, so I just had to be David, and then I arrived. (Then they had a third daughter, by which time they had let go of the required sex of the baby, and allowed her to be just who she is.)
I did try hard to be what they wanted. I was the only girl invited to boy's birthday parties when I was seven and eight. I was always invited by the boys to be on the their team at the swimming pool when we played games - I was one of the boys and enjoyed it. I always wanted to prove to my parents that I was as good as the next man and could make my way in a man's world. I now realise that this was the message of the day; I was picking up from the collective what all women thought they had to be. I grew up with Germaine Greer and Doris Lessing and I was going to be tough. I was going to be a businessman (I hated the way people feminised jobs - businesswoman, manageress etc).
I think it was during my first marriage that I realised I had married someone who would have been much better at the women's jobs - running the house, cooking the meals and I would have been much better at running the business but he wouldn't have it that way. On some level we had been pushed into our roles of man and woman and I was forced to play the game.
Slowly I found that I loved motherhood and being around my children, I loved wearing pretty clothes and looking nice, I loved restoring the old property we had bought and making it into a beautiful home. I found I could be creative, strong and feminine at the same time. I started to see that the women's liberation movement had some elements wrong, and that femininity was something to be proud of. I realised that I found it very empowering to be a woman and honour the process, the creativity, the beauty, the softness and the cycles. As I found this place in myself, our marriage fell apart; actually I fell apart - I was no longer the strong, tough, manage-it-all type he had married who was able to keep it all together. He sold the business and went off and looked for someone else who could manage and let him stay out of balance.
But I liked the new me. I loved the creativity I had found in myself, as I gave birth to each child and learnt to express my creativity in my life. As I softened into myself I started to honour all those aspects of being a woman.
I realised that I had tolerated my menstrual cycles and my moodiness and exhaustion that went along with those cycles. To be a woman means to live our lives around a cycle of hormonal ups and downs from the age of 12 or 13 right up through menopause in the 50's. It is something we accept, some women more easily than others. I remember being so tired during that week before my period started that I was driving along in a daze with a small baby in the car. How many other women do this, I wonder? I should not have been allowed on the road; this was dangerous. It shocked me how deeply we ignore our body's needs at this time, and take hormonal replacements to regularise and deal with it so that we can live a normal life.
I decided that my normal life was to honour the processes within my body, honour my femininity. My saviour was Dr Christianne Northrup who wrote "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom." I learnt to allow myself plenty of down time and rest during the two weeks before my period started and to make the most of the energy I had for the first two weeks. I learnt to go with the demands of my body and listen to what it needed. My mother had referred to our menstrual cycle as "The Curse". I never called it that, why refer to something so creative in such as negative way. Did that mean that my sisters and I were a part of her resentment process? Is this how that generation had seen their womanhood? I now think, that perhaps it was all a part of the patriarchal society. It was not her fault, it was not their fault. The women had needed to find ways of surviving in a man's world; just as I had played it out as a child. No wonder she had hoped for boys, knowing that they had a better chance than she had.
Little did she know that the three girls she gave birth to had all planned to change the world anyway!
Anyone, and I mean anyone and everyone who has ever taken hormonal therapy or steroids of any kind, including creams, will have upset the very finely tuned balance of the hormonal system within the body. We do not know enough about this incredible system to tamper with it, but what we do know is that even touching one tiny aspect of the endocrine system will impact every single hormone in your body. This should be a no-go area; the way to approach it is to work on raising the body's own ability to heal so that our systems can self-regulate. If you want to know more about the devastating effects of tampering with hormones look at this article by Tim O'Shea (link below) which everyone should read, and particularly every woman. Anyone who has ever been on the Contraceptive Pill or HRT needs to understand this vital piece. There are so many other ways of dealing with imbalances in the body and this is not one of them.
Link to Tim O'Shea's article [http://thedoctorwithin.com/index_fr.php?page=articles/all_women.php]
What an incredible gift the menstrual cycle is. Listen to all of its messages. If you get sick at this time of the month, if you are irritable or angry, if you are exhausted, it is not caused by your periods. This is caused by an already depleted body and the loss of blood each month is just one thing too many. Let's not alleviate just the symptoms, let's go much deeper. What is your digestive system like? Is your colon clean? Are you generally toxic? Sluggish? We all need a detox from time to time. Not just once. Maybe once a year. The first one should be a good long time. A few months to really get into that impacted matter that is stuck right in between the villi of the intestinal walls. And then what happens? All those disgusting parasites that are not helping your body come out from their hiding place. They love that impacted, putrefying matter. Time to get rid of those too.
Yes, you will feel worse for a time while you body is cleansing, but everything else will come into a better balance. Heal the digestive system by giving attention to your spleen, kidneys and liver and take the appropriate herbs to support your body through all of this.
We have herbs that are particularly designed to help support women. They support the body to balance itself by giving it extra nourishment. Some women choose to take these herbs only at the time of their period; other women take them throughout the month.
The herbs we have are from ancient family recipes. Natural Female is not a modern scientific formula that may or may not work. None of you are the guinea pigs. These recipes have stood the test of time and are only on our shelves because we believe in supplying only the best products. You will find your favourite herbs are included, and the manner in which they are blended and processed in these recipes ensure they are absorbed by all body types. The wisdom of the ancients is deeply imbued in these herbs, from the love with which they are tended, grown and harvested to the way they are dried in the shade or sun, and carefully blended in the exact proportions.
There are sixteen herbs in the recipe, here are the top seven:
Angelica root: also known as Dong Guai, everyone's favourite woman's herb. This a phytoestrogen, meaning plant based, and helps to balance the oestrogen levels. It is also a uterine tonic, helps lower blood pressure and has double the analgesic effects of an aspirin, relieving pain and headaches.
Black cohosh root: another key herb, also a phytoestrogen, helps with cramps, ho flushes and water retention,
Damiana leaf: although is primarily known as an aphrodisiac, it has a natural calming effect on our reproductive organs, which for pre-menstrual conditions and menopause, helps to calm and taper extreme mood swings.
Passion Flower: used to help sleep disorders and as a relaxant this peaceful herb takes away the irritation caused during the pre-menstrual and menopausal stages.
Cramp Bark: as its name implies, is for internal cramps
Partridge Berry: supports the uterus, good for painful periods, also for irritability
King Solomon Seal: good for so many blood conditions, in this case for profuse menstrual periods.
plus many other supportive, balanced herbs
Menopausal women have found that the weight gain that happens around this time is regulated by the herbs.
Serafina Corsello, MD, has this to say
"An overproduction of estrogen leads to excessive insulin production, which in turn is responsible for inexplicable weight gain."
and...
"Thyroid interaction.....
The thyroid gland is to the body what the starter is to the car. By midlife, the thyroid has been subject to much wear and tear, becomes less efficient, especially because progesterone, the thyroid's hormonal assistant, is low.
A sluggish thyroid worsens both the weight gain and fatigue associated with menopause, and fat distribution begins to takes on more of a male pattern, with accumulation of fat at and above the waistline (apple shape). Besides the loss of the appealing feminine waistline, an apple shape is associated with a greater risk of heart disease."
When I read this it just made me so grateful that we have our Natural Female and Maestro which together can prevent these effects of menopause and the ups and downs of our monthly cycle.
Menopause is only a problem in American and Northern European women. Why? Because we have been taught not to listen to our body, our rhythms and what is right for us. We have abandoned the idea of a siesta in the afternoon, which gives us the vital rest we need in our busy lives, and allows even our heart to settle for an hour. Did you know that there are far fewer heart problems in people who take a rest each day? We race to get our jobs done by the end of the day, and live mediocre lives because of it.
Today, I picked a tarot card for the day. I picked the ten of wands, which shows a man carrying all ten wands. It's about responsibility. The esoteric text for this card is: "Don't accept mediocrity. Chip away all that isn't perfect and you will have what is." That is me, down to a "T". I have chosen not to accept mediocrity in this lifetime, for me, or for anyone that asks for my assistance. The only way I can truly live my life is to be really healthy. Natural Female has helped me enormously to find the health and energy I have needed. It has helped me find the rhythms of my body, a bonus that I had not expected, and it has helped the fluctuations in my weight that used to happen each month. I realise that the card is reminding me again to take time out for myself, which I do sometimes forget in my enthusiasm to live my life!
Please take this opportunity to ask us more about this wonderful formula, Female Balance. There is not much about it on our website because it is such a personal choice. My personal experience with it is that it is exceptional.
Phylipa Dinnen
http://www.resourcesforlife.net
Phylipa has written this to help women honour who they are and resolve the much-undermined aspects of their femininity.
